I had an interesting run on Saturday. I stayed up way later than I should have Friday night, which means that I slept in on Saturday, and woke up starving. I knew there was no way I could go running while that hungry, so I ate breakfast and had coffee. Several hours later, once everything had settled, I decided to go for that run. I thought it was going to be pretty warm outside, and since I had missed my window of cool weather first thing in the morning, I decided to go running in just a sports bra - sans shirt. I spent a lot of time in front of the mirror before I left the house, trying to think about whether I was comfortable with it or not. The only time I did it before was for a quick 1.5 mile jog, and late afternoon, when it was really hot out. I eventually decided to just go for it, mostly because I convinced myself that I looked good.
I was planning on doing a 3 mile loop, and then going into the gym to do the speed intervals on the treadmill. The loop took me toward downtown, then back down Main St to go past the Corner. When I got outside, I realized it was cooler than I initially thought. The sky was overcast, and without the sun beating down, it actually felt a bit cool. I thought that was perfect, since I always prefer running weather on the cooler side. When I was in the downtown area, I got some slightly funny looks by some older people. I thought that was mostly because they were confused as to why I was wearing just a sports bra when it wasn't hot out. I think that non-runners don't realize how overheated you can become while running, and that once you get started, it feels 15-20 degrees warmer.
It was once I got to the Corner, that things went downhill (only metaphorically, since I was actually running uphill). It was extremely crowded, meaning I had to weave in and out of crowds of people. The good thing about the cool weather was that I wasn't quite as sweaty as usual - otherwise I probably would have been spraying the rude people who refused to move with sweat. Unfortunately, not only were the undergrads roaming around the Corner rude in their refusal to allow any space for people to pass, but they were extremely judgmental. I'm sure some of it was in my head, since I was already a bit self conscious, but it started with looks. Most of the girls I passed looked me up and down, and then made a face once they got to my exposed stomach. It was when I passed a group of frat (I'm assuming) guys, when I just about lost it. There were 3 or 4 guys walking towards me, and one of them pointed at me, laughed, and then said "cough FATTIE cough" and looked at his friends like he expected a reward. He had clearly been incredibly clever.
I turned up my music to avoid hearing anything else like that, and just kept going. I got to the gym and pounded out my speed intervals, and once I was done there, everything really hit me. At first I was stinking mad. How dare those stupid beer-guzzling frat boys and bitchy herd mentality girls judge me in any way? They probably can't do half of what I do physically. But then the shame set in. I started to feel bad about myself, and wondered if maybe I did look fat, if I was ridiculous to go out not completely covered up. I felt humiliated that I was targeted, and that I made myself a target.
Now, a few days later, I'm not upset about it anymore. I'm still a bit angry, but not nearly as much. I'd like to say - screw them, I'll run in a sports bra if I want to! But I don't know if I'm that brave. Thankfully, since the weather is cooling down (except for this week - high of 80 almost every day???), I will be wearing a shirt out of necessity on my runs. Maybe next spring, by the time it gets warm again, I'll feel good enough about myself that I'll run without a shirt. Maybe by then, I won't care what people say/think.
Splits: (average pace, pace in last 1/2 mile)
0.50 miles: 4:55 (9:50)
1.00 miles: 9:42 (9:42, 9:34)
1.50 miles: 14:35 (9:43, 9:46)
2.00 miles: 19:16 (9:38, 9:22)
2.50 miles: 24:17 (9:43, 10:02)
3.00 miles: 28:54 (9:38, 9:14)
I did 3 sets of 0:20 at 7.8mph with rests of 2:00 at 5.8mph in between.
Heart Rate Monitor Results:
Duration: 0:39:59
Calories Burned: 473
Average Heart Rate: 170 (88.1% max)
Maximum Heart Rate: 187 (96.9% max)
Time in Zone (65-85%): 0:10:41
I was planning on doing a 3 mile loop, and then going into the gym to do the speed intervals on the treadmill. The loop took me toward downtown, then back down Main St to go past the Corner. When I got outside, I realized it was cooler than I initially thought. The sky was overcast, and without the sun beating down, it actually felt a bit cool. I thought that was perfect, since I always prefer running weather on the cooler side. When I was in the downtown area, I got some slightly funny looks by some older people. I thought that was mostly because they were confused as to why I was wearing just a sports bra when it wasn't hot out. I think that non-runners don't realize how overheated you can become while running, and that once you get started, it feels 15-20 degrees warmer.
It was once I got to the Corner, that things went downhill (only metaphorically, since I was actually running uphill). It was extremely crowded, meaning I had to weave in and out of crowds of people. The good thing about the cool weather was that I wasn't quite as sweaty as usual - otherwise I probably would have been spraying the rude people who refused to move with sweat. Unfortunately, not only were the undergrads roaming around the Corner rude in their refusal to allow any space for people to pass, but they were extremely judgmental. I'm sure some of it was in my head, since I was already a bit self conscious, but it started with looks. Most of the girls I passed looked me up and down, and then made a face once they got to my exposed stomach. It was when I passed a group of frat (I'm assuming) guys, when I just about lost it. There were 3 or 4 guys walking towards me, and one of them pointed at me, laughed, and then said "cough FATTIE cough" and looked at his friends like he expected a reward. He had clearly been incredibly clever.
I turned up my music to avoid hearing anything else like that, and just kept going. I got to the gym and pounded out my speed intervals, and once I was done there, everything really hit me. At first I was stinking mad. How dare those stupid beer-guzzling frat boys and bitchy herd mentality girls judge me in any way? They probably can't do half of what I do physically. But then the shame set in. I started to feel bad about myself, and wondered if maybe I did look fat, if I was ridiculous to go out not completely covered up. I felt humiliated that I was targeted, and that I made myself a target.
Now, a few days later, I'm not upset about it anymore. I'm still a bit angry, but not nearly as much. I'd like to say - screw them, I'll run in a sports bra if I want to! But I don't know if I'm that brave. Thankfully, since the weather is cooling down (except for this week - high of 80 almost every day???), I will be wearing a shirt out of necessity on my runs. Maybe next spring, by the time it gets warm again, I'll feel good enough about myself that I'll run without a shirt. Maybe by then, I won't care what people say/think.
Splits: (average pace, pace in last 1/2 mile)
0.50 miles: 4:55 (9:50)
1.00 miles: 9:42 (9:42, 9:34)
1.50 miles: 14:35 (9:43, 9:46)
2.00 miles: 19:16 (9:38, 9:22)
2.50 miles: 24:17 (9:43, 10:02)
3.00 miles: 28:54 (9:38, 9:14)
I did 3 sets of 0:20 at 7.8mph with rests of 2:00 at 5.8mph in between.
Heart Rate Monitor Results:
Duration: 0:39:59
Calories Burned: 473
Average Heart Rate: 170 (88.1% max)
Maximum Heart Rate: 187 (96.9% max)
Time in Zone (65-85%): 0:10:41
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